Managing ‘Ego’ in Relationships


Ego has been an eminent factor in deteriorating the quality of relationships, and it is not merely a loophole for people who are dating but holds its adverse consequences for all kinds of relationship. Ego makes you lose your best friends and creates a wedge with your close relatives. If you had also experienced a string of unsuccessful relations in your life, you should learn to let go of your ego.

People Often Mix Ego with Self-Esteem
Some people think being egotistical works well for their self-esteem but that is not real. Having self-esteem is deemed positive, conversely, ego makes you lose all.
Here is how you can differentiate between ego and self-esteem.
-A person’s self-worth with high levels of ego is controlled by external factors- mainly feedback from others.
-A person with high self-esteem determines his self-worth with internal factors such as personal vision, passion, and belief.
Consequences of Ego
People who fall prey to being egotistical often feel insecure about themselves, leaving them in the quest for hiding their insecurities by sounding to be important or better than others. You should try to replace your ego with self-esteem and feel firm about your abilities.
3 Steps to Manage Your Ego
Undoubtedly, we all are statues of ego, however, we must learn to minimize it. Letting your ego go unchecked may bring tremendous turmoil to your future life, precisely with your spouse or partner. If you have fear, resentment, jealousy, and anger for your close relationships, you are feeding the products of ego.
1. Hanging on
Sometimes we are in a bad relationship because our ego will not allow us to accept our judgment of our partner’s character was wrong. This is very normal and we all face it when being cheated on. The ego is battered and the relationship we’ve invested so much of our years seem to stop working with a snap of a finger. Our egos do not let us accept that. So, hang on to the bond you have shared with your partner and prove that you are worthy to be a part of it. Here you need to manage your ego and strive to save your relationship. The tip is to think about the best times you’ve had with your partner.
2. Stop Wishing To Be Right Always
For the people, with high levels of ego, being right all the time is necessary. If you want to be right to feel worthy you cannot let your ego go off. Sadly, this occurs at the expense of everything else. At this point in time, you need to go through a reality check that the self-created worth you achieve from sticking to your guns and “being right” does not outweigh true pleasure.
3. Fear of Rejection
Ego prevails when you have fear of rejection. Start loving yourself, this is the simple tip to manage your ego. You should remind yourself that you deserve only positive vibes in life. Life is not about failures, however, in some situations, you might get rejected but that certainly does not imply that you are not capable of winning.

Handling Changes in Life

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." -  Eleanor Roosevelt

Changes in life happen, and they happen all the time. Things happen for good and bad reasons and much of change is beyond our control. How we handle change is within our control. There will always be external events that cause change, but you still need to take control of your own reactions and attitudes toward change.
We fear change at work for a variety of reasons. These fears are often associated with fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, fear of criticism and fear of the unknown.
Change is an unavoidable constant in our work lives. Sometimes it’s within our control, but most often it’s not. Our jobs or roles change — and not always for the better.
Our organizations undergo reorganizations and revamp their strategies, and we need to adjust.
Dealing with change can sometimes be uncomfortable, stressful or even scary. Here are some things you can do to make coping with changes in your life a little easier.
  • Acceptance
  • Talk about problems more than feelings
  • Don’t stress out about stressing out
  • Focus on your values instead of your fears
  • Ask yourself how much you can control
  • Accept and re-frame
  • Seek support
  • Take time to take stock of how valuable you are to the organization. Acknowledge your successes and the valuable skills and attributes you offer the organization. This is perhaps the time to make your self more valuable. Research tells us that valuable employees typically get through changes unscathed, or even better than before.
    Change can be frightening and disruptive. However, with the right attitude, outlook and actions, you can find opportunities in that change.

Ways to Attain Balance Between Work Commitment and Flexibility this Holiday Season

During our childhood days, holidays meant freedom from school and studies. It was a time of full-out fun and frolic. However, the scenario gets wholly changed once we become young adults. Today, working professionals need to strike a perfect balance between work, social media and real-life social interactions. A recent study indicated of an average of 24 events that any working professional needs to attend from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve. Moreover, trends in an ever increasing  ensure that work cannot be ignored during festivities. To make juggling between all commitments manageable, we present some super-easy tips that are bound to help you strike the perfect balance between commitment and flexibility, this holiday season. 
Get Organized and Proactive in Your Work
The holiday season brings in a lot of work pressure. You have your taxes to look into; getting work organized for seamless flow; planning vacations and outings with your family etc. The first step is to get organized and proactive in the workplace. Instead of letting work pile up, it should be completed on time and if possible a little early. Planning for future work should be done early, taking into considerations of any potential last minute hiccups. If you can afford to, it is best to budget a bit of cash and let some teenager or any other person looking for extra money do errands for you like getting your shoebox of receipts organized for taxation, packing up all your gifts or any other jobs that you can dish out. It will eliminate much of the stress and leave you with ample time to focus on important chores and spend quality time with your friends.
Prioritize Your Social Commitments
Often, the holiday season leaves people feeling swarmed with invitations to attend parties and events. Prioritize the significant events and parties and let yourself attend only those. Address the rest by sending an apology message along with gifts or any other way in which you do not let down or offend the invitee. This will keep you from getting drained physically as well as mentally. You would thus be able to work as well as party without any stress.
Be Flexible and Firm
Regardless of the social or professional scenario, unforeseen circumstances might come up which can set your plans off track. At those times, it is essential that you prioritize your goals and stick to them. There is no problem in leaving a party an hour early or arriving an hour late so that you could tackle the emergency at work or home. All you need is a little assertiveness and the art of saying ‘no’.
Earn Your Cheats
The holiday season is the season of lavish treats like cakes, puddings, candies, caviar etc. Many merely look longingly at it or beat themselves later for indulging in it. With enough stress and work already on your plate, it is nearly impossible to manage time for workouts during holidays. Give yourself a break and plan a diet and exercise regime a month or two before the holiday season. After all, 'tis the season of indulgence which spans over food as well!
Manage Stress
A little creativity and planning can help you keep stress at bay. Thus think proactively instead of getting stressed out. For instance, resort to online shopping instead of a physical visit to a gift store. Work early mornings and evenings so that you have plenty of time to spend with your family and friends. Get your family and working team involved to tackle things like a breeze. It is smart to remember that a calm mind can move mountains.
Striking a perfect balance between work and fun can be overwhelming but is not an impossible task. A little pre-planning and creative thinking are all that is required.

Advantages of Counseling – Mental Illness

The ever-progressing world is still trying to keep up with the reality of accepting mental illness like it’s just any other problem we need a solution for. From not being able to accept mental illness to having bullies all around who could laugh away our problem, we have a lot of obstacles that come our way. However, crossing the bridge will help you know what it is to be benefiting from counseling. We have listed the top points that will help you know what to expect.
Benefits of Counseling
Becoming Courageous- Once you make up your mind, set an appointment and knock the door to get into the doctor’s chamber, you know you have become courageous. Accepting mental illness is not easy, but when you overcome that you are half way through to have a better life. It is time to isolate from the negativity around and soak up the positive vibes that you are about to receive inside that door.
Someone to Talk to-
A mental illness counselor is an acquaintance that is ready to listen to all that you could say. It might not be easy to open up your life in front of someone you don’t know. However, the best part is letting it all out.
Your mental counselor will not go and gossip about your life like your colleagues would, but he is there to help you have someone to listen to. In our busy lives, we often lose out people who could help us or talk to us. Your counselor could be your friend and listen to you like he knows you for ages.
Seeing Things Differently-
We tend to seek for expert advice when we cannot solve problems by ourselves. Our therapists help us see things differently and give us new perspectives. It is not easy to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong, and that is where you need someone to intervene.
Your therapist will not just help you see things differently, but also positively. Their mindset helps you free from anxiety, depression, destructive feelings, and self-criticism.
Deal With Addiction-
A lot of people tend to turn to addiction of any form, before they speak to a professional. There are also people who have been addicted for a long time and are trying to seek for professional help. When you take therapy, you will have pieces of advice on how to let go of the addiction. These therapies are a part of lifestyle changes and those, in turn, help us improve our lives.
Dealing with Emotional Suffering-
Most problems related to mental illness come through emotional suffering. There are times when we go through circumstances that we cannot get over. When someone really close to us leaves us or dies, or there are other emotional issues that we face in our relationships, it is quite obvious that we go through an emotional turmoil. Talking to a counselor can help us realize that there is much more in what lies ahead of us than what we had held on for so long.
Improve Relationships-
With proper individual counseling, people can realize some common mistakes they make in their relationships and try to improve them. Many couples that go through a rough time in their marriage, dually seek for expert help, so that they can mend things with someone else’s advice.
The most important reason to seek a therapist is for self-empowerment. We need a counselor only when we are so low that we cannot help ourselves. A counselor pushes us into new challenges and makes us feel capable of accomplishing things that we never thought we could do.

How to Fight Anxiety

Fighting anxiety is a continuous effort. The first rule to lead a happy life is to eradicate anxiety all in all. That definitely calls out a war between you and anxiety. You have to fight for it right off the bat so that you do not lose out on great opportunities in life ahead.
Win the War Against Anxiety
The truth often revolves around a myth that fighting anxiety may bring more stress to your life. But always remember fighting it like a warrior makes you stronger each day diminishing the stress level to its ultimate end.
Below are few helpful practices to adapt to beat anxiety.
Wipe Out Anxiety for Good
You do not want anxiety to plunge in your life goals again and again. If all the time you keep battling with anxiety when you are going to focus on the happiness in your life? You want to fight it once for all. You need to trust me on this! There is no gain in running away from your fears. Facing them will give you courage and they will eventually begin to fade.
For instance, you had a fear getting in the lift earlier today; you should get back into it until your fear is gone. Panic is just going to make it worse. So come on, let’s face it!
Spend Some Time Exercising
You have got absolutely no idea how important it is to exercise to sustain your mental health. It could not be emphasized enough. It is the most reliable and powerful tool to control and diminish anxiety. If you are not considering it, you are doing the least to become free from anxiety.
Take Deep Breaths
If you start feeling anxiety; your palms all sweating and your heartbeat getting faster, the best option does not rest in fighting.  Put your palm on your stomach and start breathing deeply and quite slowly. This will make you calm at the moment and will help you to overcome anxiety.
The Worst Thing to Happen
If you tend to imagine the worst thing that could happen to you, you have already won the half battle through. Imagining the worst does not shape up as reality but it makes you face your fear. The fear itself runs away when you tend to chase it.
Take Out Time for Yourself
Your mind does not perform the way it should perform when enveloped with anxiety. The first thing to do is to take out time for you to peace out. Distract yourself from all the worries by walking around the corner, making your favorite dish or chewing a gum. This will assist you to calm down physically.
Tips to Remember
Just remember you live only once so it is totally your choice; do you want anxiety to control your life? Or you are ready to face your fears with a courageous attitude. You certainly have the power to handle your fears and crush them down forever. You do not merely have to fight anxiety but you have to cure it forever. As beating anxiety will help you diminish it for the time being but curing it will leave it dead for the rest of your life. And let me tell you the warrior is right inside you!